So I got married on Saturday. YUSS!!!
Part of the ceremony was composed of our celebrant retelling the story of how Cush and I got engaged. As it was slightly 'modified' for impact during the service I wanted to post my original version of the story here in order to preserve continuity when they finally make a serialised manga comic of my life.
It started with a lie. I told Cushla that I had to go to town to get some DVDs from Dick Smith. That wasn't the lie; I did have to get some DVDs, for school. But I forgot to do this, because the real reason I had to go to town was to buy the ring that we had seen the day before.
I took that ring to my flatmates and said, 'how am I going to get this ring to Fiji without Cushla knowing so that it's a surprise when I propose?'
Many ideas were kicked around. Most horrible: swallow it. Most practical: bury it within your socks. But the best idea, based on the fact that I chose to do it, was to have my flatmate Amy sew the ring into my pants pocket. That way I could have it with me (I was terrified of stowing it in my bag in case our luggage got lost) and just pop my hand into my pocket every now and then to feel it was still there. In the end, I actually did put it in my suitcase. I decided that, if Cushla and I were meant to be married then nothing would happen to my case. And nothing did.
But I still changed into those pants as soon as we were in our bure.
The plan that had been discussed between myself and chief co-conspirator Amy was that I would ask someone at the resort for some scissors to remove the stitching around the ring upon arrival. This seemed like a lot of hard work for something that could yield similar results by just yanking real hard. It did put a bit of a hole in my pocket, but that's why I chose old pants!
Now I had the ring, and I had the girl I wanted to give it to, but I had no plan as such for the proposal. I tend to react instinctively to these sorts of things and make it up as I go along, which is partially why my wedding speech will make no sense.
But inspiration was forthcoming. Our room contained a little electronic safe. After reading the instructions and confirming sixteen times with different sized objects that I could open, lock and then re-open the door, I was ready. I stashed the ring inside and waited, like a shark waits for one of those people who dangle their legs over the side of the surfboard.
I took several minutes of terrible waiting before I could convince Cushla to open the safe by assuring her that it really was the best place to keep her passport.
As the safe door swung open I took a knee. Then, as Cushla looked in the safe, I wondered whether she would actually see the ring at all. You see, it was couched in a pile of odds and ends and if I am as sneaky as I like to think I am, she had no reason to believe there would be an engagement ring in the safe. Just as I was about to stand up again and say something witty like 'um', she turned around, holding the ring.
And the rest is very recent history.
Josh
It doesn't get better than this.
Part of the ceremony was composed of our celebrant retelling the story of how Cush and I got engaged. As it was slightly 'modified' for impact during the service I wanted to post my original version of the story here in order to preserve continuity when they finally make a serialised manga comic of my life.
It started with a lie. I told Cushla that I had to go to town to get some DVDs from Dick Smith. That wasn't the lie; I did have to get some DVDs, for school. But I forgot to do this, because the real reason I had to go to town was to buy the ring that we had seen the day before.
I took that ring to my flatmates and said, 'how am I going to get this ring to Fiji without Cushla knowing so that it's a surprise when I propose?'
Many ideas were kicked around. Most horrible: swallow it. Most practical: bury it within your socks. But the best idea, based on the fact that I chose to do it, was to have my flatmate Amy sew the ring into my pants pocket. That way I could have it with me (I was terrified of stowing it in my bag in case our luggage got lost) and just pop my hand into my pocket every now and then to feel it was still there. In the end, I actually did put it in my suitcase. I decided that, if Cushla and I were meant to be married then nothing would happen to my case. And nothing did.
But I still changed into those pants as soon as we were in our bure.
The plan that had been discussed between myself and chief co-conspirator Amy was that I would ask someone at the resort for some scissors to remove the stitching around the ring upon arrival. This seemed like a lot of hard work for something that could yield similar results by just yanking real hard. It did put a bit of a hole in my pocket, but that's why I chose old pants!
Now I had the ring, and I had the girl I wanted to give it to, but I had no plan as such for the proposal. I tend to react instinctively to these sorts of things and make it up as I go along, which is partially why my wedding speech will make no sense.
But inspiration was forthcoming. Our room contained a little electronic safe. After reading the instructions and confirming sixteen times with different sized objects that I could open, lock and then re-open the door, I was ready. I stashed the ring inside and waited, like a shark waits for one of those people who dangle their legs over the side of the surfboard.
I took several minutes of terrible waiting before I could convince Cushla to open the safe by assuring her that it really was the best place to keep her passport.
As the safe door swung open I took a knee. Then, as Cushla looked in the safe, I wondered whether she would actually see the ring at all. You see, it was couched in a pile of odds and ends and if I am as sneaky as I like to think I am, she had no reason to believe there would be an engagement ring in the safe. Just as I was about to stand up again and say something witty like 'um', she turned around, holding the ring.
And the rest is very recent history.
Josh
It doesn't get better than this.
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